Cell phones...

Why do people constantly talk on their cell phones? I have observed many people talking away on their cell phones, oblivious to nearly everything around them. This is especially troubling to me when people are driving. Even the Mythbusters concluded that talking on a cell phone while driving is potentiality as dangerous as driving drunk. However, Adam Savage does point out, "...you can always put down the cellphone... you can't just stop being drunk."

More Poetry

The heavens open unto us
And stream the data to our brains
No one talks, but everyone knows
The loneliness of heaven.


We cannot see the legions
Longing for the fall
Waiting for the heavens to close
And people to come together.

poetic mood

We cannot bear
to stand the hair

upon its end,
it cannot fend

upon the bad,
but with the cad

it surely mends,
and I shall tend

without the hope
of becoming rope

Haiku

The corn is riper.
I'd rather call you earwig
But the corn won't pop.

The corn is popped now
The earwig is gone now.
But the shell remains.

Story Start

"Yaw right, 20 degrees," I commanded my F-22 jet. It complied, and I rocketed away from the incoming missile. It was still on my tail, so I punched the counter-measure button.

Success! The missile exploded behind me. I checked my flight computer to see what my next mission objective was.
#

"James, can you tell me what the capital of Greece is?"

"Huh?" I said. That's right, I was still in history class. "Oh, Athens."

"Very good," Mrs. Cartright, my history teacher said. "Try to stay with us. Turn to section six, class."

Section six dealt with more boring stuff about Greece and Athens. We hadn't come to the fun parts of ancient Greece. I wanted to study their military history. But more than that, I wished I could be back in my fighter jet.

Lukeman Ex 1

The wind howled outside my bedroom window. I knew it was cold. I still wanted to be out shooting pictures of the night. Mom said I'd catch a cold. I didn't care about that. There were so many things to explore at night. First there were the stars. They called me to take pictures of them with my shutter open for hours. I'd bundle up to stay warm. Mom didn't care. She'd never understand. But I just had to go out in to the night.

It snowed yesterday too. There's a full moon tonight. I couldn't wait for the day to take pictures of the snow and the moon. The sun would ruin everything. I'd have to keep the shutter mostly closed. The clouds would just be in one spot in the picture. With the shutter open I could let the clouds move softly across the frame.

The wind still howled. I decided to defy Mom and take pictures of the night without her permission. I opened my window to check the temperature. The wind took my breath away. It had to be well below zero. I gathered up the camera and some film. Then I grabbed my tripod and a coat. Where are my gloves? I couldn't find them. I tried to think of where I left them. Then I remembered. In my coat pockets. They were right where I left them. I crept through the door. Mom might be awake. I had to be quiet so that I didn't disturb her. I tip-toed down the stairs. I tried to avoid the noisy stairs. Finally I opened the back door. I stepped out into the cold.

Story Style...

When I worked at Walt Disney World, I worked in Adventureland. This fun place is home to several attractions, including the Magic Carpets of Alladin, and the Enchanted Tiki Room. The only good thing about the summers at WDW is the thunderstorms. When I was at the Magic Carpets during a thunderstorm, the ride would be shut down, and we wouldn't do anything except tell guests that it's closed. But then the position rotation would come through and I would have to go to the Tiki room.


The Tiki Room is a show with audio-anamatronic birds that sing and talk. It's a pretty good show the first time you see it, but after that it gets worse and worse. Since I worked there, I've seen the show hundreds of times, and can almost quote the whole show. It's really annoying during a thunderstorm though.

Really bad phone customer service...

This is a (partial) treatment for a radio play.

We begin with standard ringing you hear when you're waiting for someone to pick up the phone. It rings about 7-8 times. An IVR (interactive voice response) system picks up the phone.

IVR: Thank you for calling Mythical Care. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Press 1 for Spanish service. Para Englais, o prima el numero dos.
we hear the DTMF tone for 1

IVR: {Stuff in Spanish}

Caller: Ah, damn it!
hangs up loudly, then DTMF tones for the Mythical Care line.

IVR: Thank you for calling Mythical Care. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Press 1 for Spanish service. Para Englais, o prima el numero dos.
we hear the DTMF tone for 2

Caller (grumbling): Stupid piece of crap. {other unintelligible words}

IVR: Your call is important to us, please stay on the line, and the next available Interactive Voice Agent (tm) will be with you.
elevator music starts to play

Caller (confused): What the hell?
elevator music continues for about one minute then:

IVR: Due to extremely high call volume your wait time will be approximately 30 minutes. Please stay on the line and an agent will be with you as soon as possible.
elevator music for a few seconds, then abruptly ringing. About 4.5 rings.

Agent (same voice as IVR): Thank you for calling Omnicare, uh, I mean Mythical Care. My name is James, how may I help you?

So many people have forgotten my name in the last few days it hurts. I mean, Joe isn't a hard name to remember. I tell everyone what my name is when I converse with them, but then the next time I see that person he or she has forgotten my name.